Live like there's no tomorrow

#7. Dance like no one's watching.

Last night was by far one my best nights out with the girls yet. And the funniest thing was that it really didn't work out all that well, but we had a great time anyway. First of all, I wasn't sure I wanted to go out to begin with, because I still wasn't sure if I could drink after the New Years fiasco last week. But then Chris came over for dinner, and we started getting ready to go out, so I had a beer. I love the getting ready part of the night, that everyone gets to dress their hottest, wear makeup and clothes they don't normally get to wear.

We went over to Kyomi and Tessa's house next, to continue the pre drinking. And after a game of Kings, a game of hockey, and three more beers I was definitely excited to go out. Unfortunately, we had difficulties getting a cab (or making it downstairs before the cab left...) so we didn't get downtown until after a 11. This is a problem, because it's widely known that you'll never get in if you get there after 11 on a weekend. The line ups are jut too long. We waited in line for a long time (I even went to my sister's work to pee, came back and they still weren't inside). Finally, we gave up. As we were walking around wondering what to do (and getting more and more sober and cold) some guy came out of a door nearby and said "Hey, this is the best bar ever! Come in!" So, obviously, we did. It was not the best bar ever. It was actually a really expensive bar that played dance club music but no one was dancing.

Well, after having a vodka and lime (I know, broke the resolution already....) I decided I was going to dance, because that was why we came out! So I dragged Kristen on to the "dance floor" (aka the open area in front of the bathrooms) and we danced. I spent at least an hour out there, with Kristen for a bit, then Chris, then Kyomi and Kristen. And I was having so much fun! I was sober enough that I think it took guts to keep dancing when everyone else in the bar was watching and I did it anyways. We owned that dance floor.

The reason for #7, for me, was always to be comfortable enough just to do whatever I wanted to do, regardless of other people. And I did that last night. And I loved being that person. I don't think I'm going to let her go.

"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one's watching.
Sing like no one's listening.
Live like there's no tomorrow."

Number 57

I've blogged a little bit about it in the past, but two years ago I made a list of 100 things to do before I die. Since March 10, 2007, I have done 17 of these things - which includes things like #90 Shoot a gun, #73 Kiss someone in a foreign country, #61 Make the mix CD to play at my funeral - include Dancing in the Rain, #68 Feel infinite, #49 Wear an elaborate historical dress for a whole day, #60 Get a tattoo, and so on.

The whole idea for this list started when I was in high school, and my best friend Courtney and I would make a list each year of ten things we wanted to do that year. A couple of years we got close, but I don't think either of us ever did any of them completely. But I think it's a really good way to think about the things you really want from life, even small things that you think will make a difference to your life experience. Take #90 Shoot a gun for example. I don't really believe in guns, in fact, they terrify me. But I wanted to say that I knew what it felt like. So I put it on the list.

Needless to say, I live by the idea of my list. I think the fact that I've done 17 of them in 2 years is pretty impressive, considering that I still have a whole lifetime (I hope) to do the rest. I also made Steph and Lain do them in Ireland, though I don't know if they still have them or follow them. The trick with the list, though, is that you can't revise it. You write it at a really key point in your life (for me it was around the time I knew I was going to Ireland for sure) and you have to stick with it. Even though there are some things on my list I don't really want to do anymore, like #53 Learn Arabic, or #32 Be an extra in a movie. Another thing is that you have to put some that are easily obtainable, that you know will happen eventually (#25 Own a house, #27 See Stonehenge). And you have to have a good combination of life goals, fun things, experiences and sexual or relationship things.

I don't make New Years resolutions anymore, because of the list. But I decided to go through it again last night and pick at least 8 of the things I would try to do this year. I haven't picked exactly which yet, but here are the ones I listed:

#98. Make my own jewelry.
#82. Ride in a hot air balloon.
#75. Live alone at my cottage for a week with no phone or internet.
#74. Ride a motorcycle.
#67. Make a mix CD for each year of my life to date.
#63. Sleep under the stars.
#62. Cry in the rain.
#58. Learn 5 quotes off by heart to use in everyday life.
#56. Spend an entire day at the movie theatre.
#29. Be a vegetarian for at least a month.
#26. Get a degree.
#7. Dance like no one's watching.
#4. Leave someone behind.
#1. Fall completely, utterly, stupidly in love.

Some of them I just have to make myself do, like 67, 56, 98. Some are definitely going to happen like 26. And some I can really just hope for, like 1.

Anyway, when I was writing this list last night I realized for the first time in two years that I forgot #57. I have no #57 (obviously, I can't count). Which is perfect, because now I get to revise it just a little bit and add one. I just have to decide what.

By the way, if you're thinking I should post the list in full someday, I won't. Some of them are very personal, and though some people in my life have read the whole thing, they are not for internet publication.

How do you measure a year in the life?

#61. Make a mix CD to play at my funeral - include Dancing in the Rain.


525,600 Minutes
"Will my friends be strong, till someone plays my favourite song?"

1. Daydream Believer, the Monkees
This has always been my song. It's the only song with the ability to make me smile when I'm sad. It's me. It's mine. I am the daydream believer.
2. Blackbird, the Beatles
"You were always waiting for this moment to be free." This song stirs something in my heart. That longing to... live more.
3. Get Me Through December, Allison Krauss and Union Station
The first time I heard this song I thought, 'Of course this song exists. How could it not?' It's never lost that feeling of perfection and wholeness for me. Also, it's the first song on the winter mix CD my dad made me, one of my all time favourite mixes. I love my Daddy. This song is on there for him.
4. Samson, Regina Spektor
Never, ever fails to take my breath away.
5. Cathedrals, Jump Little Children
"There is a feeling that you should just go home and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is."
6. Affirmation, Savage Garden
My first love.
7. I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Death Cab for Cutie
8. Hey There Delilah, the Plain White Tees
Someday, I will have a daughter named Delilah. This one's for her, and for whatever kids I have and for love. Because love doesn't get any better than this.
9. Swing Life Away, Rise Against
At sixteen, this song felt like it was written about me.
10. Constellations, Jack Johnson
For the moments of feeling infinite and like there's something bigger than you. For the sky so big it breaks your soul.
11. Walking By, Something Corporate
For love.
12. For Good, Wicked
Because Fae is my Elphaba. Because there is no way to describe our seemingly chance encounter years ago other than fate.
13. Everlasting Friend, Blue October
For Fae.
14. Seasons of Love, Rent
Because this musical fills my heart and my head and constantly affects my choices.
15. The Boxer, Simon and Garfunkel
For Laura. For car rides.
16. Don't Stop Believing, Journey
For fun. For small roots and big dreams.
17. Imagine, John Lennon
Self explanatory.
18. Dancing in the Rain, Happy Hardcore
To dance. Always. To finish on a happy note.