Oh Crumb

Fae: There's a lot of crumbs on this futon.
Hez: I crumbed in my sleep last night.

Later...

Fae: I was giving you a thumbs up but couldn't see if you were thumbing me back.
Hez: If I was thumbing you, you'd be crumbing.

Thus ensued many crumb jokes for hours... We were crumbing everywhere.

Hez: And then we would cum---- *both pause*
Both: Ew.... That's dirty.



This post was made possible by Fae, because I didn't remember how it started and she'd written it down.

Sell a sunrise

I know I may have disappointed any regular readers (I like to imagine these exist...) by not posting yesterday. But I was too busy spending my last day in Pittsburgh with my Faebala. I promise I will make up for it with my attempt at video content next week. Not this week, because I am secluding myself in order to not fail my exam (again) on Monday. That and I'm starting work tomorrow and will be up to my elbows in scones and egg salad (neither of which go well on my laptop) until the big Mother's Day Tea on Sunday.

Today could be a different day
If the sky lifts up the haze
Off of my front lawn
Just another time I hold my tears
For another year
On my way back home

Can I sell this sunrise
In return for a sunset?
Can I just be here one more day
Until my sunburn fades away?

-Left Coast Envy by The Starting Line

It started raining as I lifted my suitcase into the trunk. In the six years we've been seeing each other, it always rains the day we leave. A pathetic fallacy that both amuses and saddens us. Over the years I've watched her drive away, fly away, disappear behind doors and barricades, into buses and trains.

This morning we hugged goodbye. We giggled and joked, and when I put my arms around her I couldn't help but wonder when the next time I see her will be. We've dreamed so long of being closer together but we only seem to be getting further away. I've always taken comfort in the fact that if something happened... if she needed me or I needed her, I could get in the car and just drive. I could be there in less than a day. In September we'll be separated by oceans and time zones and even more hundreds of miles.

It's not that we don't know how to do distance. That has always been a part of our friendship. We text message, email and instant message like the best of them (but we both hate phones).

It's that every time I see her I stay just long enough to realize what it would be like to live near my best friend. It's the small things. It's making lunch together and watching bad Lifetime movies. It's going for coffee and trying on clothes. It's watching our favourite movies together. It's meeting each others friends. It's getting to know each others' boyfriends. It's all of those little things that break my heart because we only get to do them for a few weeks every year.

It's all of those little things that make me realize that when I drive away I'm leaving a piece of myself behind me. My other half.

Amin mela lle, vanima Fae.

Hez and Fae Rewind Moment #3

One fine summer, Fae and I ventured down Virginia to meet up with Ali, another RPG friend of ours we'd know since about the same time we met. Fae'd met her before, but I hadn't. Fae's mom drove us down to meet Ali half way. While we were driving, I fell asleep with my head against the window in the back (which I do a lot in cars because I get horrible motion sickness). I was sleeping peacefully when suddenly... the window opened and I was almost thrown from the car. I screamed and sat up, shocked.

Fae looked over at me, startled. Then she looked down at her foot, on the window button. And laughed. She tried to kill me!

We went to Staunton, Virginia to stay with Ali. But she lived in Res, and there wasn't enough room for three of us. So we stayed on the futon at her friends Stina and Dylan's apartment. The apartment was on the third floor, there was an elevator. We went back one night to watch a movie. We got into the elevator, pressed the 3 button, went up to the floor. It was one of those old elevators with the grate that you have pull shut before it will move. So we go to open this grate... and it's stuck.
"Oh right, I forgot that this elevator always gets stuck," Ali says. Meanwhile I'm holding a tub of Ben and Jerry's, rapidly melting.

So of course I made a video. A very ADD video.



"This is our elevator stuck... Stuck in an elevator video." - Hez

"What do you think about being stuck in an elevator?" -Hez
"I think I have to pee." - Fae
"Me too." - Hez
"Yeah, me too." - Ali

We eventually got out of the elevator, rescued by a guy who lived in the building. Then, of course, we didn't have the key for the apartment. So I had to eat my Ben and Jerry's with the smallest spoon in the world, that we found in the bottom of Ali's purse.

Cleveland rocks?

Fae and I decided it would be a nice idea to go to Cleveland, to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the zoo. Cleveland's less than two hours away from where Fae lives, but I thought it would be nice for us to get a hotel and stay overnight. Especially since it was going to be free (or nearly) with my AirMiles. So we booked the hotel (which of course wasn't actually free... that's the way these things work, right?) and headed down yesterday.

We should've known things were going to go wrong, because my GPS suddenly stopped working on the way out of Pittsburgh and we ended up driving in circles in downtown Pittsburgh trying to get the stupid thing to "recalculate route."

When we left Pittsburgh it was yet another gorgeous sunny, warm day. About 26 degrees (Celsius). So of course Fae and I only packed sundresses. We actually both almost packed jeans but changed our mind last minute and didn't. By the time we go to Cleveland, it was raining and 11 degrees. What the hell? We were very poorly dressed, obviously. We parked and ran into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, stepping in puddles with flip flops and covering our heads with our very small sweaters.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was pretty awesome - I hadn't been there since I was about 8, and I definitely appreciated it a lot more this time. We stayed a few hours, then we decided to check into the hotel and just hang out a bit in the warmth before we went for dinner. This is when I discovered that while I had brought my laptop, as planned, I had forgotten the power cord. It was charged about 70%, but that's only about 3 hours of usage. We had brought movies to watch in the hotel! Damn.

We watched How I Met Your Mother for a bit, and then headed out for dinner. We were staying pretty far from the city, out by the airport. But we had a GPS, so it's okay, right? Unless, of course, you're us. The stupid thing kept losing signal in the middle of Cleveland, leaving us to try to navigate our own way through what apparently was baseball game traffic. They had traffic cops directing things, but I have no idea what they were doing... they were making us go through red lights! Finally, we found a place to park. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe, ordered strawberry daquiris and hoped it would at least be a good dinner.

Apparently the Hard Rock Cafe is a huge rip off... Our drinks were $6.99 each and didn't even taste like they had alcohol in them. Our sandwiches were about $12.99 and while they were HUGE they weren't all that great.

Normally, upon visiting a new city, we would walk around and check it out. It was too bloody cold and still raining. So we decided we would try to go see and movie. We asked the waitress and found out there was a theatre in the same plaza, in the basement. We paid and left and took the elevator downstairs... to the sketchiest plaza basement I've ever been to. Only to find out that while they were playing about a dozen movies, they were all the movies we didn't want to see and none of the ones we did want to see (we were thinking Adventureland or Sunshine Cleaning). So that failed too.

In the elevator on the way back up I turned to Fae.
"Why do we always fail?" I asked. We laughed and decided that we would just order payperview back at the hotel and stay warm in bed. We got back to the hotel and decided that the pool looked very enticing, so we got back in the car to go into the weird Cleveland suburb to find a cheap place to buy a bathing suit. The guy at the front desk had given us directions to a Walmart. The last part was "Go down and turn right down Brooksomething, there's a Walmart at the end of that road." He said the real name, but neither of us could remember so we decided that it wouldn't be that hard to find the street that was Brooksomething. We turn and find... Brookhaven, Brookdale, Meadowbrook and Brookshire. All right next to each other. Hmm.

Needless to say, we didn't find the Walmart, but we kept going down the street and eventually found another store and bought some bathing suits, which were quite expensive for suits neither of us planned to ever wear again.

We got back to the hotel, went swimming for about 30 minutes, until we suffocated from the heat of the hot tub, and then went back up to our room to order payperview. Fae took a shower, and I tried to figure out the payperview. After about 45 minutes of trying to work it, and then seeing if maybe there was something on real TV to watch, I called the front desk.

"Hi, I can't seem to get the Payperview to work."
"Yeah, the company we got Payperview from just recently shut down. So we don't have Payperview right now."
"Oh.... Okay then, bye."

Again, we tried to find something on TV. Largely, we failed. Until we found Whose Line Is It Anyway, and excitedly tried to tune to that channel... only to find out that we didn't get that channel.

We woke up this morning with plans to go to the Zoo, but they were very quickly dampened by the cold and the rain. We ate our continental breakfast and left Cleveland behind forever, after having failed at everything.

Not so there

Fae appears to have noticed something about me in the past few days that no one else has noticed before... or maybe they were just too nice to comment about it.

Apparently, I have mentally challenged moments. This doesn't come as a huge shock to me, my dad has long called me the stupidest smart person he knows. This is because I generally live in my head, and I tend to zone out. I also tend to mess up on the small, stupid things in life because I'm too busy thinking about bigger things. Or at least, I like to think that's my excuse for being stupid.

This isn't a new revelation, Fae once looked back in the car and saw me just grinning absently out the window. Since in her family people don't smile, she was shocked.

And then there was the night with the Fanta. Where I just couldn't get it in my head that the pop machine wasn't working in the hostel.

Then, the other night we went to the movie store with Fae's boyfriend and roommate. When I get out the car I suddenly realize that Fae's looking at me funny.
"What...?"
"Nothing...."

We go inside. I'm walking around, looking at the movies. Suddenly, Fae turns around and starts laughing at me.
"What...?"

Apparently I was actually walking around, twirling my hair with my finger with this blank smile on my face. Fae was hysterical. Apparently I'd had the exact same blank expression when I got out of the car earlier.

We have since come to the conclusion that I have mentally challenged moments. And it makes so much sense. I also sometimes rock back and forth in circles when I'm sitting down, without realizing it.

I swear I'm really a smart person....

Hez and Fae Rewind Moment #2

Also known as why Hez and Fae shouldn't travel together.

When I was living in Ireland, Fae came to visit for the last week before I went home. We decided to plan a Great European Adventure. We were going to go to London, Paris and then drive around Ireland for a few days to see what I hadn't been able to see on a bus yet.

First thing, we found out that without a substantial credit card and at the age of 20, we could not rent a car in Ireland. Or anywhere. So that part was shot, but we were still heading to Paris and London!

On Thrusday morning, 5am, I got on the bus to Dublin to meet Fae at the airport. I had already had enough of Dublin by that point, from the week I was there at the beginning and then a trip for the weekend to pick up Kristen, so I was very done with Dublin. So instead of staying at all, we just got on a bus back. And we were going to London via the Shannon airport the next morning at 5am. So of course we spent the night drinking at the pub I was working at, and stumbled home to bed for about three hours sleep. We got on a bus to Shannon. We arrived, walked right up to flight counter. We gave the woman our passports.

I realized that it was taking a little too long for her to find us as passengers.
"Do you have a printout of your ticket information?" she asked. I handed it to her. She looked down at it, and looked back up at us.
"Your flight left yesterday morning at 6am."

For anyone who's ever booked through RyanAir, you'll know that they give you a bunch of dates close to yours so that you can find the cheapest. I thought I was just chosing a cheaper time, when I was actually choosing a different day entirely.

It was just after 5am and we had tickets to see Wicked in London that night. And, again, for those of you who know RyanAir, you'll know that they are absolutely completely unflexible, and any time you have to book something less than two weeks in advance, it's ridiculously expensive.

Needless to say, we freaked out. We had to wait until 6am for the ticket counters to open to find ourselves a flight. Finally, 6 came around and 150 euros later we had a new flight to London. Understandably, we were upset for being a whole lot poorer. But we were optimistic.
"Well, when we get to London let's check all our tickets. It's fine, we're going to get there in time and it was just a little glitch."

So we spent the weekend in London. We were supposed to leave for Paris on Sunday night. Sunday morning we went for a free walking tour of London. At the end of six hours of walking, we were wandering around Westminster Abbey.
"We should go soon so we can get back to the hostel in time to take the tube to Heathrow," I say.

So we headed back. We're sitting on the tube on our way to King's Cross and Fae turns to me.
"You know, the flight might have arrived in Paris at 7pm..." she says. I stare at her. It's almost 4pm, Paris is a one hour time difference and we're about an hour away from Heathrow. We practically run back to the hostel to check our ticket. Sure enough, our flight leaves at 4:10. I look up at the clock on the front desk.
"Is there anyway we could get to Heathrow in ten minutes?" I ask the girl at the front desk. She looks at me like I'm crazy. The next hour or so would prove her right.

Our problem is now compounded. Not only do we want to go to Paris, but we have to get to Paris to get our flight back to Ireland, so that we can each catch our flights back home at the end of the week. I go downstairs to the computers to see if I can find us a flight last minute. I give Fae the number for the hostel in Paris and tell her to see if she can cancel our deposit on our room there that night.

As I'm scrolling through the fares on RyanAir, I'm getting prices like 300 pounds one way to get to Paris. I panic. At this point I've been living off my credit card and my parent's charity for the last two months, and I definitely don't have 300 pounds ($600 Canadian at the time!). Fae comes down from using the phone and looks flustered.
"I hate you!" she says. I blink.
"What...?"
"I don't speak French!!" she says. I burst out laughing. I had completely forgotten that I'd booked the hostel in French, that she would need to speak French to cancel our reservation. Apparently, she managed to do it anyway, in English. Much needed comic relief.

Finally, the only affordable situation that I can come up with is to exchange our flight from Paris to Shannon into a flight from London to Dublin, and pay the difference. Which was still a lot of money. The flight would leave two days later, at 6am.

On the plus side, we got an extra day in London - which meant we got to see some of my favourite things: the British Museum, Abbey Road and Spamalot. We also went out for Chinese food that was very expensive and I didn't even realize it until I got my credit card bill the next month. $120 dinner? At least it was good!

But we never did get to Paris.

We finally got back to Galway, exhausted and very poor. I decided to pick up a shift at the pub the next night, to get some money to pay my last week of rent. Everyone else thought all of our misadventures were hilarious (which, in retrospect, they really were.) So my roommate texts me and says:
"Callan (the manager) says you can work, but if you're late he's going to charge you 150 euro."

And then we went on to lose Fae's wallet, complete with her last 200 euro, and our ability to walk in Killarney. But that's a whole other story.

Of course, the reason Fae and I are best friends is because somehow, after all of this, we ended up having the best week of our lives and laughing our asses off that night at dinner.

Hez and Fae Rewind Moment #1

When Fae and I were walking around Pittsburgh tonight, we were talking about some classic Hez/Fae moments and thought it would be a good idea to share some with you. So I'm going to start with my favourite, because of the sheer hilarity.

So let's preface this with the fact that, for those of you who don't know me personally, I have a fairly big boobs. It's something I've come to terms with. They have their own fans, who am I to oppress them? Well, here's an example of how they saved my life.

It was the summer, and Fae was still living with her parents. We were prone to getting hopped up on sugar and talking all night. We decided it would be a really great idea to climb up on the roof and lay out with some blankets, gaze at the stars and have one of those life changing talks that you have so often when you're a teenager, and forget how to when you get older.

Let's get one thing straight - I am terrified of heights. Not so much of being in high places, but of going up ladders or stairs where you can see down. Once I'm up there, I'm fine. It's just the climb that terrifies me. Anyway, so Fae's parent's house is only one story high, and there was already a ladder leaning against it. Fabulous! Fae goes up first. I whimper a little about how I hate ladders, but eventually I get up there too. And we talk. And watch the stars. And it's all fantastic. Then we get a little tired and a little chilly and decide to call it a night. Fae goes down the ladder. I move to follow.

If there's anything scarier than going up a ladder, it's going down. And this is why. I took one step onto the first rung and it promptly broke, sending me flying through the ladder to the ground.

The funny part?

The reason I didn't hit the ground is because one of the bottom rungs of the ladder caught underneath my chest and it held me there. No joke. I didn't hit the ground. I was suspended in the air by my boobs alone.

There was a long silence.
"Are you okay...?!" Fae says. Her voice catches at the end. She's trying not to laugh.
"I... I'm trying to decide whether to laugh or cry right now," I answer. And then I start to laugh. Hysterically. Without end. I have a huge gash on the top of my thigh from hitting.. something (I still have a little bit of a scar) but I'm sitting there laughing hard enough to wake up her whole family.

"We should have gotten that on video!" says Fae, also hysterical.

The next day, limping slightly, I get to tell everyone I fell through a ladder. Fae's boyfriend's response? "Man, you should have gotten that on video!"

And that is how my boobs saved my life.

The Adventures of Faebala and Hezabelle

After more than eight hours of driving yesterday, I arrived in Pittsburgh! I didn't even get lost, much. That's probably thanks to the GPS. So, in honour of being here with Fae, I thought I'd flashback to us over the years.

The very first time that we met, aren't our matching shirts hot?

Cheers, darling.

We asked a random bystander to take this picture and then hopped into the bathtub... He was very freaked out.

Mmm icing!

Sun bathing at the cottage!

We're so attractive!

I have this picture in my wallet... So straight!

So cold!

In NYC, at Strawberry Fields.

In December!

Today! I think I look a little.. out of it... but this was the best of all of them.

The Long and Winding Road

I think it's a North American thing, mainly. The love of the road trip, the vaste highway stretched out into the horizon, the feeling of the ground rushing beneath your wheels. The speed. The wind. The feeling that you're getting somewhere - going somewhere.

The feeling that you're leaving everything behind, or returning to it. The feeling that if you wanted to, you could just keep driving. Just keep moving and never stop.

The feeling of control over where you're going...

And my wheels are turning to close the gap between me and my best friend. To bring us together for another short time.

I think the drive back will be harder.

My life, the cast of characters

I talk a lot about my friends and how much they mean to me, but I sort of mention them in abstract ways. This is a post dedicated to the cast of colourful characters that make my life bearable. Hopefully they'll all forgive me for posting their pictures.

The best friend. My Faebala/Fae/Faerie/Elphaba/Sar/Sari is unquestionably my favourite person. She's my other half. We've been best friends for almost nine years, despite living 8 hours away from each other. We see each other two or three times a year. We have been there for each other through the hardest and happiest times of each other's lives. We're writing a book together. We've traveled together, to Ireland, London and New York City. We dreamed of living in London together - and still dream that someday it will work out. In short, Fae is so important to me that she's the only person to have her own tag on my blog, and is also one of my most commonly used tags. We also have matching tattoos, which we got together the week of Feb 15 (significant to us because of the Bright Eyes song) last year.

The roommates. The exploits of Apartment 4 are nothing short of legendary. I met Kristen when I was waking up at 4am every morning to do media monitoring in second year. We bonded over our mutual hatred of life at that hour of the day. We went out for breakfast a lot, where Kristen would make fun of me for getting nutella all over my face. (Kristen SEEMS like a nice person but she mocks you mercilessly!) I went over to her place for her birthday that year, where I was introduced to her roommates and the idea of the Vortex. This led to me, at the age of 20, throwing up from drinking for the first time... and second time. I went to Ireland that summer, and Kristen came to visit. She and Taylor moved into the same building, different apartment the next year. I spent almost every Saturday night (and often other nights...) on their futon. Exploits and adventures were had, notably of the drunken and journalism varities. This September, I moved in with them into a wonderful half room in the living room that we lovingly call the alcove. Many nights of boogling, cards, drinking, cooking, stressing and procrastinating were had.

The person I've known longest. I've known Kaitlyn since I was two years old. Really, we're more like sisters than just friends. I don't think there's anyone in the world who knows me quite like Kaitlyn. When I was a member of Journalists for Human Rights, I took a 24 hour vow of silence. During this time, I needed to eat... Well, Kaitlyn could order for me. Then we hung out. And somehow, her and I had an entire conversation without me speaking. It's really quite astounding. And we always laugh that our families are like each other's second families. We also share an incredible love of chocolate.

The neighbour. I've know Jes almost as long as I've know Kaitlyn. We've been friends since about 4 or 5. She lives just down the street from my parents house. We walked to school together everyday for... probably almost 10 years. During those years we talked about everything. Interestingly enough, Jes and I ended up in the same program at Carleton, and we've since struggled through four years of j-school together and produced a really awesome doc.

The sister. My sister and I are really close. We have tea together at our favourite cafe, The Tea Party, almost every week. My sister has always been that person who really broadens my horizons. She teaches me so much, and I really look up to her. Even if she's shorter than me. I really admire her, too, for finding something she really loves and having the courage to pursue it.

The Chris. The Chris, who used the word "the" infront of everything. The almost roommate, who comes over for dinner every week. Who eats fried chicken with me. Who amuses me endlessly with her stories, even when they're about nothing at all ("and then I didn't get into the class!"). Who inspired my love of blogging, and of chicken caesar wraps. Chris always makes me smile.

My Galway Girls. My summer in Ireland was probably the best time of my life so far. Those four months were more full of laughter, drink, tears, first times, last times and craic than any other time. And in the process I met my wife (at least on Facebook), Lain, and my Steph. Lain and I lived together, Steph and I watched Sex and the City together. They were months full of money woes, horrible jobs and rain... but also bicycle rides, weekend trips, concerts, dancing and talking for hours. I'll never forget my Galway Girls, just like I'll never forget Galway. I can only hope that some day, we'll all be in the same place again. We have a five year reunion tentatively planned for The Puck Fair in 2012.

The family. I am incredibly lucky to have a really wonderful family. Also, to generally get along with my family, which is a plus. I love my parents, I still miss them when I go away. And more than that, I'm really proud of them as people, not just as my parents. Then there's my kitten, who I adore. And my extended family, my grandparents, my cousins, my aunt and uncle. It makes me so happy to know that so many people love me and are looking out for me!

The lovable extras. Include my close group of high school friends, various school friends and awesome people who I should probably know better but sadly don't. And you, because if you're reading this blog you are also awesome.

Wide Open Beaver*

Via text message this morning:

Fae: It's raining here, is it raining there?
Me: No, but they say it's supposed to snow.
Fae: Ew, that's worse.
Me: Haha yeah, leave it to Ottawa.
Fae: Leave it to Ottawa beaver! haha. I'm so amused right now.

And she was, apparently. Because soon enough this appeared on my facebook Graffiti wall:

Via g-chat, two minutes ago:

Me: hahhahahhah!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you so talented?

How do you make a beaver look so good?
Fae: I don't think that's talent

Me: omg omg

Fae: I think that's bored.

Me: That's what he said.

*Yes, that is a reference to Breakfast of Champions.

The Book

Fae and I are writing a book. Honestly. That word count to the left of this post isn't just random. We're finally doing what we've wanted to do since we were 13. The Book has almost four full chapters, and as of today over 30,000 words.

According to the omniscient Wikipedia:

Epic length novel 100,000 to 120,000 words
Full length novel 70,000 to 100,000 words
Mid-length novel 50,000 to 70,000 words
Novella 25,000 to 50,000 words
Novelette 15,000 to 25,000 words
Short story 1,000 to 15,000 words
Flash fiction 1,000 words or less
Micro fiction 100 words

So, we officially have a decent length novella. Knowing us, it will reach "Epic Length Novel" eventually, simply because we both enjoy the word epic and have definitely called our plots that before.

What is this book, you ask? Well, it's the culmination of mine and Fae's relationship, over 9 years of role playing. Not in the sexy way (much...) but in the RP way. As in, we have characters and we play scenes between them. It started out as a group thing, when we were 12 and 13. We used to RP Tamora Pierce books in Yahoo Clubs. That was where we met. Since then, it moved to just being the two of us, on Yahoo Messenger, and to a cast of over 500 characters who have nothing to do with Tamora Pierce.

Pretty much, it's a nerdy fantasy book. But I like to call it post modern fantasy, because we're not about the knights and dragons and names with apostrophes. Instead, our writing is very character based. And honestly, these characters could exist in any setting, it's just that fantasy is what we're familiar with and it's fun to give them magical powers. But it's not a typical fantasy at all. The fun thing is that we know these characters so well. I mean, for most of them we have their lineage planned out 6 generations back and 3 generations forward.

I have no idea what we'll do with it when we finish. Obviously it would be great to get it published, etc... but I think right now we're just doing it for us. Plus, we have a ways to go. We have at least two or three books planned out after this one.

Yup, we're nerds.

Coming and Going

"I think if we ever wrote a book about us - it would be called Coming and Going. Because that's what our memories are always full of." - Fae

Running to meet her at the Dublin airport - my iPod and headphones hit the floor with a crash and everyone around us winces. But all I can think of is how long the summer's been and how everything makes so much more sense when she's here.

Sitting in a train station in Pennsylvania, we're sharing a headset and listening to Konstantine on repeat. It's not hard to dream, you'll always be my Konstantine. The song is nine minutes. How many times could we listen to it before we had to part ways again, for another half a year?

Got lost in the Pittsburgh airport, by the time I find her I'm almost crying. But she's there, and it's almost her birthday. One weekend isn't long enough, but it'll have to do.

Bleary-eyed, it's just after 5am and we're at the Ottawa Airport. It's too cold, too early. And too soon.

It's 2am and we're driving around Pittsburgh. We've been through the Fort Pitt tunnel three times. We feel infinite. We don't want the night to end, because when we wake up the next day it'll all be over again.

Sometimes people ask me how you can be best friends with someone you only see twice a year. All I can say is, when it comes to Fae, my other half, how can I not?

Amin mela lle, vanima Faebala.

The Grocery Line

I want to share with you all one the millions of reasons I love my Faebala. She wrote this for me last night:

Mango No. 5
By Fae

To break this artichoke's heart
has sent me into a fit of sage.
As you kicked me to the carb,
you set this clockwork orange off
like a ticking thyme bomb-o.
So you can keep your Vitamin C:
I'll take the bread and mustache combo.

Doesn't make sense to you? That's okay. No one really gets it but us, and we're ridiculously amused by ourselves. This is from a series of poems, lovingly called The Grocery Line, written by both of us, usually to make the other laugh on a bad day.

Distance and the space between...

I've been thinking a lot recently about the plan that Fae and I had to move to London in September. We've been talking about it a lot too, about how we're disappointed it's not going to work. Ever since she was here last week, I keep thinking how unfair it is to have lived 12 hours away (at the closest) from my best friend for the last 8 or 9 years. It's hard, because both our lives are going in very different directions, and we both have a lot of dreams for our futures.

Anyway, I love my Faerie and I miss her and I wanted to share with you the post she wrote yesterday, based on a book she's reading. It describes us pretty well.

http://konfusedfae.blogspot.com/2008/12/friend-who-made-me-laugh-who-made-me.html

Btw, Fae, I'm trying to avoid the letter u because I'm on the laptop downstairs.. I love ewe!

New York, New York, it's a hell of a town....

I guess it's time to talk about my past weekend in NYC. Let's see... where to start?

It was bloody. fucking. hot.

I have never sweat so much in my life. I was literally dripping sweat. It was disgusting. It was especially gross because we were walking so much.. and also it got worse when you were underground in the subway waiting for the train. Ewww.

Another thing Fae and I decided.. we are too pale and too poor for NYC.

I don't know what to say, really, other than I've been to London, Paris, Dublin.. and I've never been defeated by a city before. I really found it mean and busy and frustrating. And exhausting. And you always had to pay to sit down. It was quite ridiculous.

It was fun to see Strawberry Fields, the Statue of Liberty (which Fae assures me is important if you're American), Central Park, ground zero, ten floor Macy's, Brooklyn Bridge, Broadway, Times Square, etc etc...

But I don't think I'll go back. At least not until I'm rich. It had all the busy touristness of London, but none of the character. I just.. really didn't enjoy it. And a lot of the time I didn't really feel very safe. I don't know. It just wasn't anything special.

Seeing the musicals was AMAZING though. I saw Spring Awakening twice and Rent once! It was... awesome. Very very awesome.

Of course, the trip finished on a horrible note. They cancelled my flight out of New York on Wednesday night, because of some storm, and I had to "sleep" in the airport. I think I got about 40 mins of sleep max... it was freezing cold and horrible, I was sleeping on the floor. And then finally got a flight to Ottawa and got in a 9:40 the next morning... went home, showered and went to work for 11:30. Where I stayed until 9. And almost died.

It was awesome to see my Faerie though. I think it just made us both look forward to London (a MUCH cooler city) a lot more.

you wonder if you missed your dream...

Can you measure the distance between past and future with the present? There is always so much distance, when I want to be close. There are miles between people standing side by side and people miles away are cheek to cheek.

"I don't miss the past. I miss the future with you." - Fae.

My life cannot be mapped, as I am always living in worlds that don't exist. The past. The future. Imagination.

I am lost in the Minotaur's labyrinth. Or maybe I am hiding.